My fellow infertility advocacy friend, Marissa Horowitz Jaffe, helped me compile a list of things to say to someone experiencing infertility straight from women who have suffered from infertility.
Sometimes when you experience infertility, there really isn’t anything you can say to the person who is in pain, however, these are some suggestions from women that have been impacted by infertility.
1) I don’t know exactly what you are experiencing, but I’m here to listen and support you in whatever way I can.
2) How can I be a better friend to you during this time?
3) I really wish people would have acknowledged the difficulty of the process rather than simply glossing over it. For example, it would have been nice to hear: I know this is a tough situation/process/time and I am here for you. Something simple and not too dramatic, but heartfelt, nonetheless. 4) I would have liked to have been asked about the treatment/process without the listener becoming incredulous about how much I had to endure and how “they could never have done it”. Basically, just listening would have been good.
5) Sometimes there isn’t anything you can say that won’t offend or hurt someone going through infertility especially if the person is pregnant or has children. Sometimes you just have to listen.
Marla Neufeld personally experienced years of infertility and ultimately used a surrogate to build her family. Please contact Marla Neufeld (954-761-2929, Marla.Neufeld@gmlaw.com) for a free consultation on surrogacy, egg donation, sperm donation, or embryo donation under Florida’s laws. She represents both heterosexual and same sex couples and individuals.